Is Narcissism Creeping into your Presentations?
Posted by David Evans on Thu, May 12, 2011 @ 05:11 AM
Too much self-esteem?
Psychologists recently analyzed a group of US college students using the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). The survey contains questions such as "I will usually show off if I get the chance," "I am an extraordinary person," and "If I ruled the world, it would be a better place." The average score for students in 2006 was 65% higher than it was in 1982, and 25% of respondents show higher-than-normal levels of narcissism, scoring high in vanity, entitlement, exhibitionism, and superiority.
In a recent blog posting, Carmen Taran reflects on how concepts related to narcissism, self-esteem, and an exaggerated sense of self-work may impact presentations.
“What is your narcissism level and how often do you cultivate it? If you have a me-centered mindset in presentations, you may find it difficult to connect with an audience.
I recently coached someone on virtual presentations and advised her to allow the audience to contribute more during the presentation; she refused, saying that the presentation would get out of hand and she wouldn't be in control.”
Too many presenters are under the illusion that they are in charge. While this can work with very large audiences, for smaller crowds it’s important to create space for others to get involved and shape your story. Give them the opportunity to play a part rather than simply watch the show unfold. Recognize that anyone in the room, regardless of how small or large, may have just as much wisdom as you do. This creates instant connection, which contributes to your cause and prevents you from falling in love with your own reflection.
There is a fine line between self-esteem and narcissism.We operate in a culture that sometimes protects our self-esteem too much. Instead of being used in the proper way to help create a realistic sense of self and an ability to negative feedback, it can lead to an inflated sense of self-worth, and constand demands for special treatment. As a presenter, too much focus on youself is detrimental. The more you focus on others, and validate their self-worth, the more you benefit.
Modern audiences seem to be changing from a dog mentality (responsive, eager) to a cat mentality (hard to impress, independent). How often have you had an audience that looks at you, crossing their arms, leaning back, and silently announcing, “Amuse me”?
Presentations these days can become pure theater. Often you have to try too hard, by displaying emotions you don’t really feel. Dry content? Sound enthusiastic. Unrealistic promises? Use a more confident voice. A question on the NPI that gets increasingly high scores is “I find it easy to manipulate people.”.
To you, it may matter what you say, but to an audience, what matters is what you mean. People can quickly detect fake behavior and emotions. Reflect on the content you share and present only on those topics where fakery does not play a major part.
These days, we tend to have fewer friends, despite Facebook. More people live without a spouse than with one. This type of sealed lifestyle does not help you to connect with people, a skill that is essential to successful presentations.
To guard agains narcissism try spending less time with your toys and more time with real people, getting to know what others say and do in real life.